Overtaxed children

Despite the title, this isn't a rant about the British financial system - we'll save that for another day.

I've been reading a great deal of late about the 'problems' of the modern childhood, and it seems that as a parent I'm caught between a rock and a hard place. If I ask my children to do a few minor chores around the house - at least teach them that the washing fairy won't put their socks in the dirty basket for them - and demonstrate the link between food shopping and tea on the table, then I'm depriving them of their time for fun, by foisting adult responsibilities upon them. On the other hand, if I bring up three kids who can't do anything for themselves and truly believe that we have magic self-tidying bedrooms in our house, I've clearly failed. If I ask them to do all the things the school require of an evening (lets count them - 15 mins reading, remedial writing because there isn't time in class, 15 mins spelling practice and "20 minutes a week homework" that often translates into a full hour, replete with tears and screaming), I'm pushing them too hard; but if we don't do those things, I'm not helping them achieve their potential.

I want them to have fun out of school too. I always swore I wouldn't drive them from activity to activity after school, leaving lots of time for drawing pictures, building dens, reading comics and just lying on the floor dreaming about stuff. But then, Little Miss started ballet last September.... and then Eldest showed an interest, so we couldn't dismiss it out of hand.... and now Middlingest has asked to try tap dancing.

None of this would be a problem, except the classes are Tuesday at 3.30 (Little Miss), Wednesday at 4 (Eldest) and Thursday at 3.30 (Middlingest). We don't get home until nearly 5 and then its a mad dash to do tea and homework and bath and stories and bed. The children end up stressed and miserable.

So what on earth do I do? Today, Middlingest announced he had tummy ache and didn't want to go tap dancing and although I suspect he's just tired, I let him. They're all watching Bugs Bunny on the video, and when that's over I shall shoo them out of the playroom to do something more interesting somewhere else while I get the tea ready.

It's all about balance, I'm sure. I just can't find it.